


Come Back

by nerdypipsqueak



Series: Fictober 2019 [14]
Category: A Dangerous Man: Lawrence After Arabia (1990), Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
Genre: Angst, Fictober 2019, M/M, Sad Ending, Swearing, discussion of rape and torture, protective elder brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 16:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21039449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdypipsqueak/pseuds/nerdypipsqueak
Summary: Fictober prompt: “I can’t come back.”A missing scene from the Paris Peace Conference.Ali (Feisal's elder brother, NOT Ali of the Harith) confronts Lawrence.Ali is foul-mouthed and opinionated, please be patient with him.EDIT: This story was originally set in the My Soul and Yours universe. However, certain aspects of the main story-line have changed and "Come Back" no longer fits the line of events, both those written and those yet to come. I decided not to delete the story entirely, just to remove it from the MSY series. It can still be read as a standalone piece.





	Come Back

Paris, Ali thinks, is a fucking joke. First of all it's freezing. Secondly, it's boring. Last but definitely not least it's surprisingly grey for a "city of light".

The people speak a pleasant-sounding, mellifluous language but they also stare. And judge. Ali wants to punch them in their pale, smug faces, wipe their self-satisfied grins off for them.

He also wants to punch Feisal. The lovesick idiot's moping again, chain-smoking and staring into space.

Actually, Ali wants to punch one more person. Lawrence. If the little shit thinks he can just waltz into Feisal's life, sweep him off his feet and then simply abandon him because of some misplaced guilt then he's wrong! 

Feisal is Ali's little brother, they have their differences (and plenty of them, thank you very much!) but still Ali feels fiercely protective of him. And he's going to sort this nonsense out, one way or another. 

Ali storms off to that wing of the hotel where the English are housed. He knows exactly which room is Lawrence's, everybody knows, it's hardly a secret. For some strange reason it's one of those shitty little rooms that don't even have a proper bathroom. Ali finds it odd that a man of Lawrence's rank, an officer, a hero, should be housed in such appalling conditions.

Ali knocks on the plain wooden door. Silence. Ali knocks again. Once more, silence. Ali knocks a bit louder. Nothing. Ali furiously pounds the door with his fist.

"Sherif Ali?" Colonel Newcombe emerges from the neighbouring room. "Is everything alright?"

"Where's Lawrence?" 

"He went to Meinertzhagen's room."

"Where's that?"

"One floor up, turn left, first door to your left." Newcombe answers, perplexed. He opens his mouth as if to add something but Ali really isn't interested. He turns on his heel and heads for the stairs.

The moment Meinertzhagen opens the door Ali pushes past him, barging into the room. "Where is he?!"

"Who?" 

"Lawrence, for crying out loud! Where the fuck is he?!"

"Having a bath." Meinertzhagen says slowly. "His room lacks the proper facilities. May I ask what this is about?"

"You may not." Ali yanks the bathroom door open, swinging it to the side so violently it slams against the wall. Lawrence sits up abruptly, splashing the tiles with water, drawing his knees up to his chest, a look of sheer terror on his face.

"Sherif Ali! This is most unusual!" Meinertzhagen tries to squeeze himself into the bathroom. Ali is having none of that.

"Fuck off." He says, fishing a crumpled French bank note out of his pocket and stuffing it into the man's hand. "Go get yourself a brandy or whatever the hell it is you people drink. Go! Shoo!"

Meintertzhagen huffs a sigh and leaves.

"Ali..." Lawrence says weakly. He looks very fragile, curled up in that huge bathtub, arms wrapped around his knees.

"What's going on?" Ali sits, cross-legged, on the floor beside the tub. "What the fuck is going on?"

"I don't understand."

"Don't you dare pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. What is going on between you and my brother?"

"Ali, I would prefer that to stay between me and Feisal."

"What is it?! Did he hurt you? Did he say something to you? Was he disrespectful?"

"No, absolutely not. He has always been very good to me."

"And yet you spurned him."

"No."

"No?! What the fuck am I missing then? You are sharing quarters, sleeping together, definitely doing more than sleeping and don't even try to deny it, I am neither blind nor deaf. Then you go off scouting, come back and it's like you're a different man. Like you forgot that you love him!"

"That is extremely unfair, Ali." Lawrence protests and for a split second Ali fantasises about pushing his golden-blonde head under the water. "I never forgot about Feisal."

"Then take him back, for the love of God! If he's not hurt you in any way, shape or form, if you still love him then take him back."

"Feisal deserves better than me."

"Now that is bullshit. He chose you, out of all the men and women in the world he chose you. He loves you."

"You don't understand, Ali."

"Then make me understand."

"Very well. If that is what you wish."

Lawrence talks for the next half-hour or so. He talks about his scouting mission in Deraa, about the Turks who had captured him, about the unspeakable pain they'd inflicted upon him, the disgusting ways in which they'd used his body. He talks about the English, the French, their political agendas, their desire for oil and other resources. He talks about secret treaties, clauses hidden in more public agreements, kept from him until it was too late.

"Do you really think that any of that bothers Feisal?" Ali asks, his head spinning with the overload of information and emotion. "He loves you very much, you know."

"I know." Lawrence whispers, choked up with tears.

"Come back then. Come with me, talk to him, stay with us in our quarters. We'e got a fucking bathtub and everything, you wouldn't have to come here to have a bath."

"Ali..."

"I'm serious. Come back. You two were happy together. You still can be."

"I'm sorry, Ali. I can't come back. You and your brother have... obligations. I already ruined enough. The best I can do is go back to England and try to sort this mess out from there. And, as I said, your brother deserves better."

"You fucking idiot." Ali rises to his feet. "You absolute fool. I should kill you now. Do you know why? Because you broke my little brother's heart. But I'm not going to do that. Because that would destroy Feisal. I'm going to leave now. You know where to find us."

Lawrence doesn't say a thing but Ali is sure he can hear him sobbing.


End file.
